|
Poetry
Jul 29, 2005 16:40:56 GMT -5
Post by Frodo on Jul 29, 2005 16:40:56 GMT -5
It's another short one - simply titled "Doors". I don't know if I should try to lengthen it or . . what . . .?
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 2, 2005 16:10:40 GMT -5
Post by Locked Out on Aug 2, 2005 16:10:40 GMT -5
At this point, I've given up trying to get in under my regular profile. Beth's- I love it. Like Maddie said, most people don't realize that free-style poetry (yes, that is the term for it) does exist, and that things don't have to ryhme. I hope you post more stuff up here soon. You never put a mask on where the poem came from, which is a relief after seeing alot of poetry (including my own) skirt around what the author meant to say.
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 2, 2005 16:15:51 GMT -5
Post by Locked Out on Aug 2, 2005 16:15:51 GMT -5
Gah! *slaps self on forhead* I pressed the post button before I meant to!
Silver Chair- I was blown out the water. Wow.
Red Feather- I've read it. You seem to have a talent for short stories Maddie. I can't write a truly good short story to save my life. I really like The Red Feather. You ought to post it and any of the other short stories on the other thread at some point. I'd love to see more of them.
Doors- I've seen it before. You already know what I think about it.
Hobbits- Same as above.
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 3, 2005 14:36:40 GMT -5
Post by Frodo on Aug 3, 2005 14:36:40 GMT -5
I'll put up the Red feather after Lynnette's Dray has finished getting nitpicked. There are several short stories I'm working on, but some of them don't know where to go. Most of my stories already plan themselves so all I have to do is get the sentences on paper fast as I can, but these - they're making me think through it! Bad story bad!
I'll shut up now.
(Do you have any poems you would like to post here Goldberry? if its too much Hassle to post then just email to me and I'll post for you, with your due credit of course)
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 4, 2005 10:21:25 GMT -5
Post by Gimli on Aug 4, 2005 10:21:25 GMT -5
This fragile heart, Closes, Under pressure, Sealed to anyone, Wanting to escape, Paper hearts fill my mind, Overflowing to my soul
Invisible ravens fly to the edge of my reason, Screaming there warning call, Wanting to be rid of me again, They don’t care how it happens, As long as I am gone,
Invisible, They don’t know I’m here, They wait for me, Long to be near, But they can’t tell, I’m right there. Next to them,
Screaming so they can hear, But they’re deaf, To my cries, I feel abandoned, But then remember that I am screaming with my mask on, No wonder they cannot hear me.
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 4, 2005 10:25:34 GMT -5
Post by Gimli on Aug 4, 2005 10:25:34 GMT -5
Often times, My words slip through my fingers, Like fragile glass, Gleaming in the night, Gleaming blood red, Against my skin,
Why the emotional heartache? And why the over thinking? The answers lie inside, Where I sit fragile, And whimpering, Like a child, Like myself.
Invisible butterflies, Tickle my skin, Visible fingers knock, On the door of my heart, Where am I again? Oh yes, right here. Visible Waiting
For what?
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 4, 2005 17:38:09 GMT -5
Post by Frodo on Aug 4, 2005 17:38:09 GMT -5
Ooh, n i c e one. It flows well and has such a voice!
Is it a continuous poem with the two posts? Or seprate? Just curious.
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 5, 2005 15:43:46 GMT -5
Post by merry on Aug 5, 2005 15:43:46 GMT -5
i can't write poetry, i'm jelous.
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 6, 2005 10:54:50 GMT -5
Post by Locked Out on Aug 6, 2005 10:54:50 GMT -5
Beth showed 'em to me the other day. They're two seperate poems, Frodo. By the way, Beth, the first poem has a spelling error. You put "there" as in the place, not the possesive pronoun. It should be "their". Otherwise, perfectamundo! (no that is not spanish) I really like them. I think they're some of your best yet. Alot of the others of yours that I've seen are good, but they don't flow like these two do, and some of them seem a bit awkward. These are much better in that sense. Keep it up!
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 7, 2005 13:40:55 GMT -5
Post by Fafmimbaki on Aug 7, 2005 13:40:55 GMT -5
Yes, wonderful flow! And they fit together perfectly, even if they were written seperatly, they might as well be one! I like the part about the ravens best. LOVELY!
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 9, 2005 18:50:36 GMT -5
Post by Frodo on Aug 9, 2005 18:50:36 GMT -5
this is for the Sage-Kendrick-Lloyd story, so I don't know if it'll make perfect sense.
In your life you may choose desolation And the shadows you build with your hands will grow and flame, and spread through the lands
If you turn to the light that is burning And you follow the paths of the moon the trail will ebb and reveal your boon
Sharpen your sword, stay out of sight Live in the stars, and live in the sun Hearts bared in the cloak of night Your journeyman's day has begun
In your day you may find Elven voices And the music will give you white wings soar upon the winds and listen as it sings
If you turn to the eaves of the fortress And hide in the darkness there You'll be troubled and burdened with care
Sharpen your sword, stay out of sight Live in the stars, and live in the sun Not giving in without a fair fight Hearts bared in the cloak of night Longing to not be just ‘someone’
Your journeyman's day has begun.
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 9, 2005 21:01:30 GMT -5
Post by Fafmimbaki on Aug 9, 2005 21:01:30 GMT -5
ooooo! I LIKE it!! Has a really good rythem and flow to it, and even if you didn't know the story (which I do, somewhat) it would still make sense!
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 9, 2005 22:03:39 GMT -5
Post by Locked Out on Aug 9, 2005 22:03:39 GMT -5
You sent it this afternoon, I've given my feedback.
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 10, 2005 14:36:05 GMT -5
Post by merry on Aug 10, 2005 14:36:05 GMT -5
i liked it too. and it made sense. i like the kind of mysteriousness in has.
|
|
|
Poetry
Aug 10, 2005 19:49:06 GMT -5
Post by Fafmimbaki on Aug 10, 2005 19:49:06 GMT -5
yeah, and the way it connects with your deeper human.... it just seems... like it's from a part of what makes all of us.
|
|